blissful realities

Today was a lovely summer day. At lunch time, we took our food to a nearby park and ate in the sunshine. After, the children played on the playground. I sat there thinking how it was any child's ideal summer moment. Carefree, not a worry, and lots of laughs and giggles along the way. Especially when it came to mommy demonstrating the proper technique for hill rolling. There is a correct way, you know. It was so fun to roll down the hill. I hadn't done that for a couple years. You must try it yourself if it's been too long. 

As I watched my kids dig in the sand, scale climbing structures and whirl down the slides I had a moment of reflection. I remember not too long ago, in my days of being a babysitter and nanny, the times I took other people's children to the park, or any enjoyable outing. I used to think back then how I couldn't wait until I would take my own children on special outings. I would daydream about the sweetness of the moment, focusing only on what I naively knew at the time - only the 'joy moments.' 

I pondered that some more - how I've found myself desiring the best parts of life, but not always desiring the work it takes to get there. 

Children are an amazing blessing. But there are undoubtedly moments of sheer insanity in my day to day life that certainly were not a part of my children-in-the-park-daydream. 

As I've been sifting through some areas of my spiritual walk and my relationship with God, it was easily paralleled in the same way. I so deeply want the good stuff of God. I want to relish in his mercies and enjoy his favor. I want to hear him clearly and know the depths of his heart. I want the relationship that almost seems effortless, though I know deep inside it's the effort of all the nitty gritty things that get me to the "goods" of God. 

Why is it so easy to want the end result without even beginning? I know my abdomen is asking me the same question every time I take a bite of a cookie, but that's beside the point. 

Anyway, all this reflecting today challenged me. It's the difference of the immature and the mature, not in behavior, but in heart. Back in my nanny days I was very responsible, trustworthy, and dedicated, but I still wasn't a mom. I knew what I could do and what I couldn't do. I had healthy boundaries for a reason. But it didn't qualify me to know the depths of motherhood and how sometimes those magical moments I witnessed with other children at the park with their parents may have not been as blissful as I'd hoped. Perhaps the parents were finally taking  a deep breath in the day after the exhausting moments of tantrums and time outs in their home. 

It's the same with God. 

There's digging and searching and learning and growing that goes far beyond our Sunday morning experiences and our quotable devotion we just posted on Facebook.

The 'easy' end is for the inexperienced. It's a hard pill to swallow some days, but it's the one that in the end, will refine us. 

Jesus himself can testify to that.